Hong Hae-ri’s Road to Plum Flower or Love of Wife in Dementia /치매행 서평

The Korea Times /2016. 6. 10.

Hong Hae-ri’s  Road to Plum Flower or Love of Wife in Dementia

By Choi Yearn-hong

 Hong Hae-ri’s poetry book of 150 poems dedicated to his beloved wife who lost memory and thinking power, but it comforts many people who have a member of family in dementia. There are millions of people in this world who are suffering from this serious illness. Almost all senior citizens are afraid of this disease. one of three old men and woman may be the victim of this illness.

 Hong has produced several poetry books, but he may be more known with this poetry book by now, Chi-mae-haeng, that is, Road to Plum Flowers, in my translation into English. Plum flowers are famous flowers blooming in the snow, so the Korean poets created many images of plum tree and flowers pure and clean for their poetry. In some countries, the blossom season of plum tree  and cherry tree is identical in early Spring, but plum blossom is ahead of cherry blossom in Korea. Southern provinces in Korea may be somewhat different time from Northern provinces.

 Hong adopted the Korean words, dementia, Chimae, for his title of the poetry book. Then, he converted the Korean words into Chinese letters, Chimaehaeng.  The poet might have identified himself as the plum flower for his wife’s recovery. He is hopeful to find new miracle medicine that can cure his wife and all dementia disease victims in his short introduction to this book. In it, he made it clear that he did not aim to produce sophisticated poetry about his wife’s disease nor any literary fame from this book. He wanted to describe his wife’s strange behavior before and after she was diagnosed as a patient of Alzheimer’s disease.  He wants to share basic information about Alzheimer’s disease with other people. He, needless to say, must be frustrated to treat or take care of his wife. The best description may lead to the best analysis.

 This poetry book is more than simple description of an innocent and child-like woman who lost her memory and thinking power. All poems are of course the poet’s creative work. He regretted the fact that he had not taken care of his wife, a hard-working school teacher and a full-time house wife, during his adult days. He recollected the fact that he did not express his love to his wife. After she fell into the dreadful disease, he regretted that he was not a good spouse at all. He took her for granted. Most elder Korean men were not enriched in showing affection to their wives after their honeymoon period. I may be one of such an old men. Therefore, I have received a significant message from this poetry book, I should love more my wife and children  for the rest of my life. This is a message to all men from Hong’s poetry book.

 Mother of three children remembered her daughter from the family picture in particular, because the mother felt guilty not to provide the best care of her daughter. Of course, this interpretation is from the poet.  She did not want to go to the “daycare center” for the Alzheimer’s disease people. He brought her to the daycare center and picked her up in the evening. In between, he has his own time to manage his own life. She asked where he would go, when he dressed up. Repeatedly. His observation of his wife ‘s language and behavior was rather keen and even scientific.

 Communication is a key element of living in our lives. I had a similar experience with my mother who lost her speaking ability after her long Parkinson’s disease. Side-effect of her medicine deteriorated her thinking power and later communication ability. She asked me to “go home” when we lived in an apartment at Oksoo-dong in Seoul. I responded to her, “this is our home” and asked her which home she meant. She did not respond to my words. She meant her country house, Kahoe-dong house or Sangge-dong apartment, all her previous residences. She was silent after my words. After she was hospitalized, I visited her bed two or three times a week. She just stared me. When my daughter visited her before her death, she just stared at my daughter. No words spoken. Tearful moments lasted very long.

 I can imagine Mr. Hong is enduring painful daily life with his ill wife, innocent like a child, at his home in Seoul. Communication is part of the basic life. When spouse loses that communication ability, the home will be in despair. Fortunately, the poet comforts himself with his poetry, first of all. His poetry comforts not only himself, but also all others who are situated in a similar situation as his.

 He is  younger than I am. But he is a senior citizen. I am sympathetic to him and cheer him up with this review.

 At the end of his poetry book, I found a couple of poems comforting myself and present them here with my translation.

Sunset

the bird,

flying into the solitude of the wrinkled twilight.

the bird flying alone,

sound of flapping its tired wings

garurung, garung

garung, garurung

the bird flying without sense of direction,

absentmindedly.

 

Last night of January in Lunar Calendar

I lie on my back,

then turn to right,

and then to left.

I lie on my stomach,

uneasy turn one side to another,

long long night,

insomnia,

the last night of January in lunar calendar.

My eyebrows turn to white and gray.

 

* Dr. Choi is a poet and writer based in the Washington area.